Things Remote Year People Say That You'll Probably Hate

I’m sitting on a rooftop with my laptop right now, across from a friend, drinking a gin and tonic in Buenos Aires. It’s a Wednesday at 4:07 PM, and I’ve just come from lunch at Don Julio, a top 50 Best Restaurant in Latin America, where I devoured one of the best steaks and sweet potatoes of my life.

I sound like an asshole.

Remote Year allows us to have the freedom to travel the world while working – when we want, where we want, how we want. Sometimes I work twelve hour days, catching up on things that I either fell behind on or just want to get ahead on. I’ll be in the zone. I’ll be focused as hell. I’ll drink 5 cups of coffee and forget to eat because I’m so determined to get things done.

Other days? I sit on rooftops and drink gin and tonics after steak lunches, because I can.

While this may sound exorbitant and ridiculous and “ugh, RUB IT IN” to people who haven’t experienced this lifestyle, the fact of the matter is, yes, it’s a little ridiculous. But if you’ve read the things that I’ve posted before – the hardships of constantly moving locations, cities, countries, the feelings of loneliness when surrounded by 70 people, the wish that you could only be in two places at once when your grandma is getting sicker and sicker (but you can’t), the guilt that we all so often feel for dropping everything and everyone to follow our dreams of traveling – you’ll know that it’s not all that the Instagram posts crack it up to be.

But since these posts are for me and the group that I traveled with, I’m going to take the opportunity to reminisce on the things we say: the ignorant, the horrible, the hilarious, the unreletable, and the “WTF seriously??” That way, when we’re all in other countries over the course of the years to come, at least I know that some people out there will know what the hell I’m talking about when I ask them if they could Emoji if they’re in for a walking tour on Tuesday at 10 AM. There aren’t explanations on these quotes for a reason.

Also, I needed something a little more lighthearted today. 

I’m getting some help from my fellow RY people on these; most are actual quotes that we’ve all said at some point. And beware: some of them make us sound like complete douchebags. Here we go:

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“Wait, what country are we in?”

“#LevelThreeFun”

“I haven’t drank in like, three days.”

“Can’t tonight, I’m going to Tuscany in the morning.”

“Does the masseuse speak English?”

“Why do people even live in America?”

“Anyone need anything muled from the states?”

 “Do you have data? Can I tether?”

“What language is he speaking?”

“Where’s the nearest ATM?”

“Does anyone have any dirhams/BOBS/euros/pesos I could borrow? It's Friday and all the ATMs are out of cash..."

“Does anyone know how to work their washing machine?”

“Can I come over and borrow your washing machine?”

“Anyone have an extra laptop/phone/HDMI cord? Mine was left behind/stolen.”

"What side trips are you doing this month?"

"Are you taking the bus or the plane to Medellin?"

“Plans? Ugh, not really sure. Like, I might go to Uruguay tomorrow, but I’m still on the fence.”

“What track are you on?”

“Anyone want in for a 13-course tasting menu and alcohol pairing this Thursday at 1PM at XYZ?”

*Anytime anyone gets or borrows some new article of clothing*

“OMG did you get a new shirt?!”

“Guys, I’m ghosting in thirty minutes. Just so you know.”

“Emoji if you’re down.”

“Anyone going to be at Machu Picchu this week?”

“Anyone want to leave from the workspace to the track event tonight?”

“Is Uber illegal here?”

“My home friend just said something funny and my first instinct was to put it on Slack.”

#homefriend

“He’s in the jungle or something. He sent me a picture of a tree.”

“I got sunburned in the fucking shade. Twice.”

“OMG this is horrible. Try it.”

“Who has the group photo? Can you please share?”

“@channel”

“@here”

“Emoji if you’re in.”

“Si.”

“Can someone switch their menu with me? My Google Translate isn’t picking up the creases.”

“This is my last coat. I can’t fuck this up.”

“A few of us are doing illegal Chinese. Anyone down?”

“I don’t know if I’m gonna go out. I’ve been out every night for like, five months.”

“The worst part about spilling on your shirt is that you have to wash it.”

“Does anyone have any extra KGs in their bag that they can lend me?”

“If I come back walking normal, I didn’t ride that camel right.”

“I smell like skydiving.”

“So we’re scheduled for the 10 AM slaughtering and then we’ll cream to lunch.”

We’ll never look at sheep the same way again.

*5 AM* “COME DRINK ON THE ROOF!”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a smaller camel I can ride?”

“I CAN NOT DIE IN AFRICA.”

*9:27 AM* “Are you guys still at the club?”

“Do you want a mimosa? I have one in my bag.”

“I just like my life so much. I’m sad when the day is done.”

“I haven’t used a pen since I joined Remote Year.”

"This is gorgeous. And I'm really hard to impress. I once gave the Louvre 3 stars on Yelp."

“I need a Baby Bjorn for my laptop.”

“Will the castle have wifi?”

“This might be really weird, but like, do you wanna go to Bulgaria tonight?:”

“It’s hard to think of this as a restaurant because it’s made of straw.”

“You really need to travel more.”

“Isn’t it crazy that for other people, today’s just another Thursday?”

AHHHH my hour is up on this but there are SO many more. Special thanks to many of my Ikigais who actually said these things so that I wouldn’t have to think of a lot of them.

Hope everyone’s enjoying these posts, I’ve got a few more on deck for the coming week. (NOTE: I may edit this one post-project just so I can remember all of the other hilarious things that we say.)

As I have been, I’ll end with a somewhat relevant quote:

“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” -Steve Martin