OH-MI-GOD-OH

It's time for the weekly recap! A great bundle of things that happened to me throughout the week that may or may not put my future jobs in jeopardy. Week three contained another side trip, more booze, more exercise, and, shocker, JOBS! I gained two clients and thank gawd, because Europe is eating my money. And I'm eating its food. And the food is eating other food because I've mostly eaten a shit ton of meat. (And cheese, but if cheese ate anything, I'm pretty sure it'd be something gross but inexplicably delicious. Like unicorn sweat.) Let's get on with it! This week I:

• Worked. Ugh. Like, totes boring, right? WRONG. Working here is so nice. And inspiring. And I can only imagine that this sort of thing will catch on for people that like their jobs and are self-sufficient enough to do them abroad. The other people? Well, probs not. But this week was the first that I worked a pretty significant amount of hours. Were they weird hours? Yes. Daily, they varied anywhere from 7 am to 5 am in random spurts. Because that's how creativity happens and I'm learning that every single day. 
• Met another remote, Charles, and watched him perform MAGIC! He's an actual magician, which is pretty sweet. This community is so effin' inspiring. We had coffee and chatted about things we're good at and how we're going to take over the world with them. Check out his adventures at nomadcharles.com .

Magic Charles can do anything blindfolded.

• Walked around beautiful Alfama and burned some calories. I took this as an "oh-mi-god-oh I need some alone-o time-o now-o" trip. It was nice to walk around and realize how annoying I was in my own head. I soon surrounded myself with people again. 

• Saw the Castle of St. George. Not gonna post a pic because it's just another castle. (Google it, people. Everything looks like a freaking postcard, ok???)
• Ate plenty more weird shit, including this fancy AF octopus. He told me he was happier in my stomach. Luckily, my body complied this time. (Unlike the whole duck heart incident.)

• Saw more breathtaking views, yada yada yada. 
• Went to the Tile Museum and it was AWESOME. I made this iNsPiRiNg collage of tiles that I've been taking pictures of around the city. Are you inspired looking at it? Please be inspired. 

Just your average tiles that make up almost every building here. 

• Saw another rooftop and took another non-Insta worthy photo on it:

Can't insta dat but it's still cool.

• ACCIDENTALLY stayed up all night and watched the sun rise (AGAIN) on the water. 
• ACCIDENTALLY ended up on the beach in Cascais with two bottles of champagne.
• ACCIDENTALLY bought gazpacho thinking it would cure my craving for a Bloody Mary. (Hint: it didn't. Also, get your shit together, Portugal. Bloody Mary's should be standard by now.)
• Met a nice young man who worked for BMW that offered us a spot at his Oktoberfest table. I will email you until you respond, KUBEN!
• Ate a crepe that tasted like the most heavenly pizza ever.
• Took a nap in a hostel because my body hated me and I had to. Only cost me 25 Euro. YOU'RE WELCOME, BODY. 
• Ate a fish. Plenty of them, actually. 
• Ate a lot of pizza. Not sure why. 
• Contemplated why I kept eating pizza. Then realized I had bought peanut butter and jelly AND chocolate milk at the store, things I never eat/drink, ever. I guess I miss America a little bit, and would like to include her in my world travels through the comfort of a giant spoon of nut butter.
• Had an Irish Car Bomb shot and an Irish Flag Shot. One which had absinthe in it and I'm afraid to know if it was the hallucinogenic kind or not. But that spaceship we rode home in was LEGIT.
• SURFED! I SURFED! I stood on a piece of sanded wood and rode waves. Somehow, I actually was able to stand up multiple times. I'm thinking my god of a surf instructor, David, had something to do with it. Half Portuguese, half German, full husband material. Save The Dates are in the works. 

Are we human? Or are we surf instructors?

• Ate a bifana, a super good sandwich with pork. (Another pork product, whoda thunk it.)
• Fell asleep on a train and missed my stop. Which is the only reason I had that bifana, so thank god for unanswered prayers, y'all. Amiright? It's hard to be negative when there's always another sandwich just waiting to be consumed at a weird train station.
• Downloaded Tinder and realized that I shouldn't have downloaded Tinder. I have yet to meet up with anyone and it's seemingly hopeless to have a conversation with anyone who doesn't speak a lot of English. (duh) But this is the shit I'm dealing with, so I'm guessing not much will come of this project:

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS, SHINKU??? I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE. 

• Got sick. My body took revenge and made me its bitch. I woke up with chills and a fever and a cough and (possible) food poisoning. But I couldn't rest because I had to get on another train to LAGOS! My other side trip. 

• WENT TO LAGOS! GOT ENGAGED TO A BEACH! SCREW DAVID, I'M MARRYING A BEACH!

No ring, but my love don't cost a thing 'cept this VIEW.

• Went on a booze cruise in Lagos and pretended I was in college again. Beer bongs: I've still got it. Thanks, UNT!
• Ate snails. Tiny snails. With a toothpick. I felt like I was betraying Gary from Spongebob, but they were delicious. And Cockerels. I ate those too. Tiny clam things? I don't know. In fact, no one does. Thanks for nothing, Google. (Don't care, ate them anyway.)
•  Came home, apologized profusely to my body. Went to the pharmacy and got medicine. Drank green shit. Slept 15 hours. Didn't drink for 3 days. (That's about to change after I'm done writing this post.) And got back to work. 

Week three hit me like an oncoming train. While I thought I was soooo chill and relaxed at the beginning of the week, Portugal had other plans. But that's okay. This entire trip has been all about going with the flow, and its ups and downs are what make it so memorable. Could I have done without a fever? Probably. Could I have gone without eating duck heart? 100% Yes. But it taught me a lesson, as has everything else that's happened: just when you think you know what's going on, something comes out of the blue and makes you ponder why it's 4PM and you didn't go to bed and how on earth you ended up in Cascais.

I took a pill in Cascais

To show Avicii I was cool...

it was Claritin D.